Friday February 4, 2011

I have started about a dozen blogs, either in my head or physically typed out in the past two weeks…and deleted each and every one.  I know most people think of a blog as a self-indulgent practice of vanity.  And you know what?  For the most part it is.  I can accept that I like to talk and this let’s me do so.  But I also love words and writing and telling stories…a good reason to blog, I say.  I am definitely a sucker for a light-hearted anecdotal blog.  But lately, I appreciate this blog for the honest outlet it is for me, and the accountability it also allows.  And really…that’s why I have deleted said posts.  I want to be honest about things going on, but for fear of self-absorbed vanity or fear of telling the truth of what’s going on, I just haven’t written anything. 

So without futher verbose preambling…I just wanna reflect on one thing from last week’s sermon. 

 

My church (www.cground.org) is doing a sermon series on 1 Corinthians.  Say what you will about series, I’ve come to accept them and appreciate my church for their thoughtful planning.  This series is just starting off, and has already proved to be a doozie.  One question that has just been looming over me: What is between you and the cross?  It’s a simple, straightforward, not-too-out-of-the-ordinary question for a pastor to challenge his congregation with (I tried sooo hard not to end that sentence with a preposition, sorry!). 

I take this question in may ways.  What gets between me and my relationship with God? Jesus? The Holy Spirit?  What gets in the way between me and the pure awe of a love so sacrficial someone died a death I cannot fathom?  What gets in the way of me and the lifestyle for which God has called me? 

I could go on…but I will refrain for the moment. 

Instead, I kind of want to paint a picture.  Imagine a wooden cross, say 4 feet high, that sits in a santurary.  And around it are these little knick knacky things that represent what stands in the way of me and my God.  People.  Relationships.  Social events.  Food.  Sex.  Coach purses.  Tiffany jewelry.  Perhaps a nice painting of the life I THINK I should have, all pretty and water-colory and fabulous.  One by one I just wanna kick these things out of the way, but there’s a part of me that just swoops in, grabs a person, a purse, maybe a pair of earrings…and then looks to Jesus.  Ugh.  I just really want to change my entire mentality.  I want to be a better person that reflects a loving, sovereign, powerful, yet mysterious God. 

Praying that I lose the clutter and fix my eyes.