February 22, 2012 Leave a comment
Anyone that knows me knows I lead a pretty charmed life. Sure, I’ve had challenges–lifelong fat girl, fired from a job, et cetera–but generally I’ve run a race with few hurdles. But I suppose the easy run has to come to an end eventually, right?
My recent hurdle is still pretty…doable. Perhaps I even created a mountain out of a molehill. To speak vague again (sorry), recent weeks have resulted in me crying at the drop of a hate. Sobbing, even. At my desk at work. In my car. When I wake up in the morning. I don’t say this to campaign for pity. I say this to give an idea of how much of a challenge this has been for me. This “let go, let God” thing has truly been the hardest thing I’ve dealt with in my adult life.
So when we sang the hymn “I Surrender All” at church on Sunday evening, it hit me. I have to surrender all. Not some. All. This is my ultimate hurdle.
I don’t want to, but I’ve already started. My heart is changing and after one week, I cry less. I’m thankful for great friends and family to support me and remind me that my worth is in Jesus and not the woes of this world.
So here it goes. Surrendering all. Lent starts tomorrow…I plan on using Lent to incorporate something into my life to aid this journey. The more community I am in, the more chance I will have surrendering all.
“…the art of losing myself in bringing You praise…”